Worry, Why Do I Let Myself Worry?

I cannot tell you how much I HATE doing dishes. I’m sweating like a wah-hore (pardon my language) in church. I had to take off my glasses, I had it running through my eyebrows and dripping onto my lenses. All the while my brain is chattering, you know that voice, that worried voice that just won’t shut up. When that happens, I often have a hard time remembering to trust God. I end up with an uncontrollable urge to call the one person I can always count on, and I need to not do that, while he is at work. I have friends and family that I know I can always call, but….It’s just not the same. I can’t explain it. No, that’s not true. I have a hard time not making the Hubby my “end all, be all” and not able to open myself up by discussing the deep, scary, worrisome things. You know those “private” things, the deep things. (By that I don’t mean the dirty things. I’ve been accused of having too few boundaries there.) Who do you talk to about the deep, dark, scary things?

I think I’ve broached this subject before, what I really need to do is be much more proactive in creating a local friend base, some people who I can get together with, face to face on a semi-regular basis, and hang out. I really am not a recluse, I swear. I just feel like one sometimes. I feel it more when my girls are away. I feel it acutely after spending time with my closest girlfriends, which only happens a couple of times a year, even though they only live 4.5 hours away.

I find that one of my biggest road blocks is the stage of life I’m in. I’ve been married for 14 years. I am 36. I have kids who are almost teenagers. I am a stay at home mom. Do you know how hard it seems to be to find someone at the same stage of life. (Do I sound like a whiner? I really hope I’m not coming across that way.)  I do have two really good friends here, locally. One is a bit older than me, her kids are grown, and starting to have families of their own. The other is a stay-at-home-mom, 6 years younger than me, with 4 kids, ranging from 12 to 7. I enjoy both of their company. They now live an 45-60 minutes away. The stay-at-home-mom was my neighbor. Everyone else is an acquaintance. A friend or co-worker of my hubby, or someone from church, where we haven’t attended in FAR too long! (I’m working on it.)

So, other than work & church, where do y’all meet new people when you move?

Oh, and please forgive the liberties with the Patsy Cline lyrics.


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