Riding the Life-Coaster!

I have so much on my mind, it’s all a jumble. So much I am worried and stressing about. So much I’m mulling over. I want to have a big ol’ freak out, but I don’t have the luxury of just losing it. My Facebook status this morning was about the urge to crawl back into bed and wanting to pull the covers up and pretend the world didn’t exist. I don’t have that feeling so much any more, but it is strong today. I know part of it is that I don’t deal well with change and uncertainty, and there are a lot of things that are up in the air. Honestly, as unrealistic as it is, I’d love to not have to make any big decisions, just be informed once things are decided. Is that just me trying to avoid responsibility? Maybe. Could I use a handball sized Xanax? Uh-huh. Do I wonder why life always seems so crazy? You betcha!

One of the things running around and around in my mind is whether or not to go back to work part-time. The Hubby and I have discussed it, on and off. We never really seem to come to a conclusion.

I’ll be honest, I don’t really want to go back to work. I LOVE being a stay at home mom. I feel like the Hubby doesn’t want me to either. He keeps saying he wants me to work less than 30 min. from home. Okay, so, we live in the boonies, and there are very limited choices for that. I don’t just want to get any old job. I would like to have a part-time “career” if I’m going back to work. I don’t really want to work at the grocery store, the gas station, or in fast food. (Not saying it’s beneath me, but I do have job skills that could be put to use doing something else.) I know that part of the reason I don’t want to go back to work is my last job experience (here in IL). It ended up being horrible, with a horrible boss. That, and everything is compared to the job I had before we moved to Illinois. It was the perfect job. I know that I really shouldn’t compare jobs/employers like that, but dog-gone I had a wonderful job situation. I miss it. I would go back to work without batting an eyelash, if I could go back there. It makes it hard.

We don’t need the money that a part-time job would provide, but who couldn’t use a little extra play in your budget? I think that’s part of what is making the decision difficult.

I am trying to remember that life is just a series of ups and downs and without them life wouldn’t exist. That’s my new mantra…Life is a roller coaster. Going through the ups and downs just means you are alive.

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3 responses to “Riding the Life-Coaster!

  1. If you don’t want to go back to work and Rick doesn’t want you to either, then don’t. If you guys can make it w/o you working then don’t stress it. The kids are getting the best of you not what’s left after working. I know that I worked just about all your childhood but you at least had Gran taking care of you not strangers. You and Rick are the only ones that can make that decision….actually it has to be yours so you don’t end up resenting him. I say that I’d like to not work…but then what would I do?? So guess in my case I’ll work another 10 + years :). Do what you feel is right for you and yours….nobody has to agree with your decision except your immediate family and really they don’t have to agree, just accept it. Love you. Try not to stress too much.

  2. I think if you don’t really want to go back and your husband doesn’t really want you to go back, then don’t go back! You could research jobs you can do from home, sell some stuff on ebay or etsy or whatever. You know I have been both a stay at home mom and a working woman. The more ya earn the more you want. The value you are to your kids and husband as a stay at home mom are worth a small fortune. You can’t look for your family to really want to take on more jobs than they do right now either. So who will do them? You STILL will! Of course I know you want to use the education you received, but in only a few VERY SHORT years your girls will be grown up. You can use it then. If you want more to do, then maybe you could finish your education on-line or something. I think you should find a newspaper or magazine to write for! You are talented in that line. Your blogs are interesting and newsy. You could write a bit and share some of those recipes you are always talking about. A lot of us out here like to read what you have to say about your daily life and the food you talk about makes me want to cook! LOL Love you girl! Good luck making a decision. Of course ask God for guidance. If HE wants you to work then maybe he can send along a job that it makes no sense to turn down.

  3. I love you guys! Thank you so much for your advice and support. I keep thinking that the reason we can’t make a decision is we don’t want to change how our life is going right now. Things are going much more smoothly than ever before. Even when I stayed home in TN & SC, things didn’t go this well. I have motivation, things get accomplished, my family is eating healthy meals, my house is cleaner than it’s ever been (still lived in, don’t get me wrong) and I am getting crafty things accomplished. I also love getting my kids off to school in the morning, and being here when they get home in the afternoon.

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