Our Own Mortality

I have a heavy heart this morning. I don’t want to make this about me, but I feel the need to share my thoughts. A classmate of mine, from high school, her father passed yesterday. He was only a few years older than my own father. It is hard to wrap my mind around the concept. It also scares the holy hell out of me. It could easily be me in her situation, it could easily be one of my parents. Then what? How do you handle that, how do you move forward. Yes, I know our parents are supposed to die before their children, but how do the children go on when it’s in the prime of mid-life? Our parents are supposed to grow old. Mid-life is NOT old. It just hits me really hard, it slaps me in the face with the reality of all of our mortality. My heart aches for their family, and I will continue to pray for them.

 

*Deep Breath*

 

Okay, enough of the super serious stuff. I discovered something that made my girls very happy this morning. I’d seen apple rings dipped in pancake batter then cooked. Well, my apples wouldn’t hold together, so I went ahead and cut them into smaller pieces and mixed them into my pancake batter. I got some very lovely comments, and I think we’ll be making them again. I don’t like cooked fruit, but even I liked them. This was the first time I have cooked them a hot breakfast in ages. I can hardly believe I made time for it today. I’ve got so much to do, today. The girls birthday parties are tomorrow. Yes, I know their birthdays were this summer, it just hasn’t worked out for the party to be closer to their actual birthday. We will be having a bonfire, weenie roast and then we’ll be watching Jaws! I am expecting to have to cram 30 11-14 year olds in my living room! I think we’re going to need a bigger boat! I have two birthday cakes to bake(for tomorrow), One of which is a Neapolitan cake (so, three different layers) a 5 gallon drink cooler/dispenser to clean, plus I have some other baking planned, but that may be able to be postponed. I need to get our desk cleared, so it can get moved into the living room, so the Hoosier cabinet can be moved into its regular location. I need to get started. I just want to go back to bed!

Busy, busy, busy. Hopefully keeping busy will keep my mind off of everything else.

 

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5 responses to “Our Own Mortality

  1. Those pancakes with apples sound DELICIOUS!!!! I”ll have to try it. Marsh is big into blueberries, so maybe I’ll do those too. And Neapolitan cake? Sound good also- do you just do 3 different cakes, choco, strawberry, and vanilla? YUMMM!!!!!

    As far as losing a parent (which you know I went through), I don’t know how people do it. I don’t know how I did it. Looking back and thinking about it now, I suppose it wasn’t AS difficult (but still PLENTY difficult) to deal since I was so young. You find your coping mechanism (mine was reading and still is, if I can’t handle my reality, I leave it), but to think of it now (losing my mom, or being this age and having to lose my dad now) I can’t imagine. When you are young, your parents are your parents. As you get older, they become not only your parents, but your friends, your rock, someone who is always there for you. I would be completely lost if something happened to my mom. Death is a part of life, but it is NOT an easy part. There is no way to deal or prepare to deal until it happens. Just have to not dwell on it or think about it at all if possible. Life should always end when you have lived your whole life, seen your great great grandbabies, and you fall asleep peacefully in your bed and just never wake up. Living a full life, no regrets.

  2. As for losing a parent it is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to face in life. I have gone through it…don’t ask me how I did it,’cause I couldn’t tell you. Not trying to sound like I didn’t love my dad, cause I did. But losing Will, my “baby” brother was sooo much harder. Don’t know if it was because he was so young (old to you Stephie and Jessica) , or because we spent so much time together. Really don’t know. As you know, we all handle things differently so what “right” or works for one of us won’t necessarily work for anyone else.

    • He was young. Maybe old to me then, but he was only 10 years older than I am now….Wow, that really just put life in perspective.

  3. Stephanie, I cannot imagine losing a parent at any age. I mean, logically I know that unkess I die first I will go through it. Wrapping my head around it is something entirely different. Having people I kniw losing their parents, or their parents being sick just causes it to be at the forefront of my mind. Honestly, I don’t ever think it is easy. I don’t think it was easy for you and Meg, for Rick who lost his dad at 17 (plane crash), or my Mom and Dad both losing their fathers. As much as our brains may try to prepare us for these things, by making us think about it when it happens to others, you are NEVER prepared. My heart still breaks for you two, and your Mom, my Mom, and Gran when I allow myself to think about it.

    Mom, honestly, I suspect part of why it was harder is because emotionally we all expect our parents to die first. You aren’t supposed to have to greive your children and younger siblings. It goes against basic human thought process. We all think we will have more time. I didn’t really. think of Uncle Will as an “old” person, because really, in the frand scheme of things he wasn’t that much older than me. I imagine we will always struggle with the greif to some extent when we think about him, or that day, or those first few weeks.

    As for the Neapolitan cake…I’ve never made one before, I’m flying by the seat of my pants. I think it is going to end up being 3 layers, one in each flavor. I’ll let you know how it turns out

  4. Neapolitan cake idea- could also marble it with the choco, strawberry and vanilla. or you could make cupcakes with like chocolate on bottom, straw in middle, and vanilla on top. you could do a 1000 different things… hmm, i might have to get creative this weekend too 🙂

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